My Heart's Desire

Have you ever had a desire that stirs your soul?  A hunger, a longing that you can't stop thinking about?  A calling, a passion, a LOVE..........something that is to the core of your being and that you just can't get enough of?  

For me recently, that has been my feeling for God.  No matter how busy I am with my job, my household chores, planning my wedding... my desire for more time in the presence of my Savior never goes away.  And when I am in those moments of focused attention on  Jesus, on His Word, on His voice, I never want to leave.  It can be 11 pm after a long, hard day, and when I get into those moments, HOURS can pass like a second.  And even though I am tired, I am so refreshed and re-energized! 

The lyrics of this beautiful song mirror the cry of my heart, the longing of my soul, my desire for my life...

In humble adoration, I kneel before Your throne, In brokenness I seek Your face alone, Above You there's no other, Who's able to restore my soul, Come and make me whole

Breathe on me, Power of God come in and change me, You are all I need, Holy Spirit breathe on me

I'm ready to surrender, To give You all my life, No matter what the cost or sacrifice, Reveal to me Your calling, Cleanse me from my prideful ways, Use me now I pray

Breathe on me, Power of God come in and change me, You are all I need, Holy Spirit breathe on me

I will say of the Lord, He is my strong tower, My rock and my fortress in whom I trust, In times of the storm and in tribulation, He is my help and my salvation

Oh breath of God, Restore my soul

{Breathe on Me by Natalie Grant}

Everyday I seek to be used by God, and everyday I am shown ways, small or large, to be in impact for Him on those around me.  Everyday that I ask for opportunities, I receive them, everytime I ask for open doors, they open, every second that I spend seeking more of God and more of his will in my life, the more of it I get.  Things don't always go the way that I planned, but they do ALWAYS go the He plans.  And when my desires are in line with his, its AMAZING!!!  Praying scripture, belief in His promises (remembering that every promise of God is conditional on at least two things: faith and obedience) asking for wisdom, seeking his will, daily submitting EVERYTHING to Him....there is NO BETTER WAY.  I tried living MY WAY.  I practiced my FREE WILL.  All it brought was pain, regret, and unhappiness.  Every second of living for myself was a WASTE OF TIME, such precious time.

Are you frustrated/hurting/unhappy?  Do you feel like there has to be more to life than the daily grind of your job and daily routine at home?  Let me ask you something.  When is the last time that you spent more than 5 minutes on your knees?  Can you truly say that you SPEND TIME with God?  Like any RELATIONSHIP, knowing God requires TIME and ATTENTION!  You have to TALK TO HIM.  You have to GIVE to Him (resources, like time and money, but also love, respect, adoration, and praise!), and to EXPECT from Him in return. Have faith that He will do for you when you do for Him.  Do you LISTEN to God? Or do you do all the talking? Do you spend more time ASKING FROM Him than SUBMITTING TO him?  Ask yourself these HARD QUESTIONS, and be HONEST in your answers to yourself.

Do you admit you are wrong, or do you TRULY REPENT?  There is a difference!  Are you truly giving up your sinful ways?  Is your heart right, or are you knowingly sinning, but refusing to truly give it to God? (Psalm 51)

Are you struggling financially?  Let me ask you this.  Are you GIVING faithfully to God (tithing at LEAST 10% off the top of your income-Deuteromony 29:12-15; Matthew 23:23)?  Because if you are TRULY TRUSTING GOD with your finances, you will NEVER HAVE TO WORRY about having enough.  In fact, God instructs us to give up everything that we have (Luke 14:33), and He PROMISES TO PROVIDE FOR OUR NEEDS (Matthew 6:26).  He repeats over and over again throughout the book of Proverbs that the RIGHTEOUS will NEVER BE FORGOTTEN, NEVER BE LEFT WANTING.  He even INSTRUCTS us to TEST HIM in our giving (Malachi 3:10), promising to bless us for our faithfulness.

When you pray, do you always pray for your safety and well being?  Would you be ABLE AND WILLING to pray like this instead? 

"God, whatever your plan is, whatever your will is, that is WHAT I WANT (Matthew 6:10).  Even if it means enduring pain and loss.  Even if it means constant discomfort.  Even if it means poverty, abandoment from the world, and mocking for my faith (2 Corinthians 1:3-6).  I am ready for ANYTHING life brings, because I am living to store up treasures in eternity (Matthew 6:19-21)!  I know that this LIFE IS TEMPORARY, but that my choices in it will ring for ETERNITY.  I want to choose the only true way to HAPPINESS.  The only true example of LOVE.  The only UNCONDITIONAL FRIEND.  Everything I have gained in this world is truly a loss in eternity (Philippians 3:7-8).

I want to SEE THE WORLD THROUGH YOUR EYES, Jesus.   I want to love EVERYONE (Matthew 22:39).  Not just the poor and needy, but the wealthy and the prideful.  I want to focus on WORSHIPING YOU, in EVERYHING I DO.  I WANT TO LIVE EVERY SECOND WITH A STARTLING AWARENESS OF YOUR PRESENCE, and to LIVE AS IF YOU WERE WALKING BESIDE ME IN PERSON EVERY SECOND.  I want MORE OF YOU."

Would that prayer be hard for you to pray?  Or is it your HEART'S CRY?  Don't misunderstand, I believe in ASKING GOD for healing and for safety.  He has given us His authority (Matthew 10:8), and has instructed us to ASK (Matthew 7:7-8).  But it is important to remember that HIS PLAN IS BIGGER AND BETTER THAN OURS!  So when we ask, we should do so believing that God has told us to do so, but trusting that WHATEVER HAPPENS IS FOR OUR BEST (Isaiah 45:11; Jeremiah 29:11).

This is my heart's cry.  To KNOW GOD to the fullest extent that any human being can.  To live EVERY SECOND for Him, KEENLY AWARE OF HIS PRESENCE.  To show love to EVERYONE, strangers and friends, loved ones and enemies, rich and poor, strong and weak, fellow believers and lost souls.  To be a CONDUIT, to be a MEANS...I want to be USED.  I want Lacey to be less, and JESUS to be MORE!  I want to be anointed by God, I want the Holy Spirit POURED INTO ME.  I pray that God would have unexpected and uncontrollable circumstances come into my life, so that HE has more opportunities to reign in me!

Do you know God's definition of BLESSED?  Read the beatitudes in Jesus' Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:1-12).  Blessed are those who MOURN, those who are MEEK, those who strive after RIGHTEOUSNESS, those who are PERSECUTED.  I want to be blessed, not by having material things or comforts in life, not by having less pain in life than others.  I want to be BLESSED in God's definition.  I want to strive after righteousness, and be joyful in trials and tribulations.  I want to practice humility (meekness) and mercy.  I want to be a peacemaker.  In persecution and pain I will rejoice, knowing that God is calling me BLESSED! 

Does this sound RADICAL to you?  It should!  Does it sound crazy?  It IS.  Its CRAZY LOVE FOR GOD, and it is soooooooo much better than any thing else in life!